This time of year can be very stressful for families so we are going to explore stress. What exactly is stress anyway? We all talk about it but we generally all mean something different. So… It is in fact a method through which the body protects you. Yes, it actually has benefits. It aids the body to stay focused and alert. Yet, when a certain point is crossed, it becomes harmful and lowers your quality of life.
It is critically importance to be able to recognize when your stress levels are spiraling out of control. One of the most dangerous things about stress is that it does not always look or feel like stress. It stealthily sneaks up on you so that you get used to it. Like the frog in the pot, you don’t notice how much stress is affecting you physically and emotionally, or its effects on the people you relate with at home, work or school.
‘They say that if you put a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will leap out right away to escape the danger.
But, if you put a frog in pot that is filled with water that is cool and pleasant, and then you gradually heat the pot until it starts boiling, the frog will not become aware of the threat until it is too late.
The frog’s survival instincts are geared towards detecting sudden changes.’
So how do we know when we are overly stressed? Stress is a creature with a life of its own and portrays itself in many ways. It takes a toll on both, the body and mind.
There are:
Cognitive symptoms: constant worrying, anxiousness, inability to focus, poor judgment.
Emotional symptoms: short temper, agitation, depression, moodiness, sense of isolation.
Physical symptoms: nausea, chest pain, aches, constipation, loss of sex drive.
Behavioral symptoms: nervous habits, insomnia, loss of appetite or excessive appetite, use of alcohol and other substances to relax.
Symptoms vary greatly, and are different for every person. Stress is a ‘personal experience’ and no two human beings will feel the same while suffering from it. You have to know your own limits, you have to know when stress is simply too much. Stress tolerance, as symptoms, morph according to each individual.
Thankfully there are many techniques which aid significantly in the reduction of stress. However, because the stress response is unique to each person, not all techniques have a significant effect on each person. You should experiment, trying out several methods until you figure out which one fits you best.
Techniques to get you started
Meditation is a technique through which we humans can ease our anxiety levels. It is suggested by known psychologists such as Robbie Maller Hartman that meditation alters the brain’s neurological pathways, making people more tolerant to stress. All you have to do is sit up straight on the floor, keep your eyes shut and let go of any distracting thoughts.
Breathing exercises also help relax the body, lowering the heart rate and blood pressure. The relaxation of the body is an opposite state to that of the stress response. It only takes five minutes a day and is very easy to perform. Close your eyes, put your hand on your lower abdomen and focus on your breathing. In and out. In and out.
Mindfulness: Be aware of your surroundings. Stop once in a while. Taste food, feel the air on your face, the grass on your feet. Enjoy those little moments and let yourself be, even if for only a short period of time. This should help ease the tension in your body.
Reach out. Establish connections with the people around you. Talk to others. Tell them how you feel. Not only will this help the body release frustration but as well allow you to obtain a fresh perspective.
Notice the way your body feels. How stress affects it every day. At night, or even during the day, allow yourself to lie back for a few minutes and sense how each part of your body feels. You may start with the toes and finish with the top of your head. Simply be aware of where you feel tight, where you feel loose. Don’t attempt to alter any of these feelings. Just let your body know that you are aware there is a problem.
Decompress the body. Place a heat wrap around your neck for ten minutes. Let your whole body relax and sink into the warmth spreading over your shoulders and neck. You could as well massage the tension away.
There are other factors which aid to keep stress in check. These are extremely helpful when coping. You should perform physical activity regularly, it is a critical in preventing and reducing constrained tension. Moreover, eating healthy prepares the body to cope with stress in a much better way. Start the day with a healthy breakfast and reduce: caffeine, sugar, alcohol and nicotine consumption. In addition a good night’s sleep is imperative to keep your mind straight and not deviate to irrational thoughts which nurture stress.
And finally, what is known as the Easy A’s.
Avoid. Alter. Adapt. Accept.
Avoid stress which is not necessary. Distinguish between ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ and keep away from people and situations which cause you stress.
Alter your situation. Many times you will find you cannot avoid a situation. Thus, try altering it. Assert more. Do not stuff your feelings, which increases stress, but let them be acknowledged. Make changes, pay someone to do it for you, anything to change the situation even a little bit.
Adapt to those stressful situations. If you cannot change a situation, or a person, attempt to change yourself. Focus on the positive aspects, the things you enjoy. Always keep an eye on the big picture and question yourself whether something or someone is worth being upset about. You can change your response to the situation. The therapies I do and the lessons I teach can help you get control of your responses. You can shut off the stress button.
Accept that which you cannot change. Learn to accept that which is inevitable, do not fight it. Know that no one will ever be perfect. Take this as an opportunity for personal growth.
All the aforementioned will help to ease the tension and reduce stress. But remember, everyone is different. What works for me may not for you. Experiment, get to know yourself and give yourself permission to relax in the situation.